Tag: pain

Goals

Kai drove into town mind running, fueled by one statement and question, “You guys were goals! What happened?” They really were. She loved that man like her life and salvation were dependent on it. As a devout Christian, and a child of divorce she would never separate her family, and she would never make her children face the pain and instability of a broken home. The home her and Jeremy created in their twenties slowly began to crumble but from the inside. The facade remained in tack but as if termites ate away at the scaffolds of her mental health and the splinter in her eye was perceived by Jeremy as a beam. Somehow the emotional abuse she’d faced behind the closed door of their bedroom crept down the hall morphing into a monster she could not reason with.

It was by God’s grace that she had birthed two children and for Kai, they were the sun and moon. The days and nights spent alone caring for her family were illuminated by the lives of Damascus and Taliah. Yet they also slowly revealed the other side of Jeremy. And when she knew better, Kai resolved to do better. Even if it meant abandoning the god she worshipped all her life.

I didn’t like you

Somehow I’ve told you everything

I never thought I would,

Then have the audacity to say to me

All the things I “should”

I didn’t understand your positivity

Far too afraid to ask

Hoping one day you would give to me

A moment of your past

Is that what they gave to you

Something I couldn’t

When it all started out so terribly

How could you ever really like me?

Life full of drama running from impending trauma

Too foolish to find my way out

I don’t know why I did it

Can’t see you without him

That you are the last piece of who I was before all of this

Before I was sad and hopeful,

I had a plan

Now I’m bent and broken

On healings long worn path.

away

Pillows around my body to assure rest

Surely somewhere there is a heart beating

Through the wiring and pangs of death

Will I always feel you with me?

Did you have to break me?

So terribly and deeply,

Pull at the scab blending, into skin.

The winding and melting of our limbs.

Guess you were a mate of my soul.

Hoped that you’d be mine to hold,

And keep just a little while longer.

Maybe if I were a little stronger,

I could sip from your glass have full,

Be the one to push when you pulled.

flip it

my read is so fire if you flipped it

you’d think im cursing

matter fact if you don’t script it

you’ll see its cursive

God is my father

watch out you’ll be burning

God is my mother

she’ll take you out of this world and

you acting like it’s astrophysics

im an alchemist,

i mix this pain like a chemist.

god sent you a real one

turned you to a lesson

arms too short to box with God

next time ill move and not feel this harm

now i have to learn and you get this karma

got my script so I dip,

now you heading to phrama – see

now you get what’s coming to you.

warned you before, can’t stop what they do.

mr. unavailable

excellent service mr. unavailable

emotionally, spiritual and intellectual.

-ly lacking and siphoning

my energy,

with drops of love

so i decided to fill my cup.

and although I’m ever so grateful

this is the year of the faithful.

those who recognize and give their due.

treasure a treasure and not play the fool.

consolation lies in reciprocating,

yet a well run dry leaves one only waiting.

for that which will never come.

can’t call myself dumb.

i believed your every word,

and that which was left unspoken.

you healed the places that were broken,

filled the spaces gone unnoticed.

here there is no blame, only acknowledgement

theres no direction so i can’t follow it.

or you – down this path to nowhere.

it was nice while it lasted

so follow your passions

signed -ms. unavailable.