Category: motherhood

Goals

Kai drove into town mind running, fueled by one statement and question, “You guys were goals! What happened?” They really were. She loved that man like her life and salvation were dependent on it. As a devout Christian, and a child of divorce she would never separate her family, and she would never make her children face the pain and instability of a broken home. The home her and Jeremy created in their twenties slowly began to crumble but from the inside. The facade remained in tack but as if termites ate away at the scaffolds of her mental health and the splinter in her eye was perceived by Jeremy as a beam. Somehow the emotional abuse she’d faced behind the closed door of their bedroom crept down the hall morphing into a monster she could not reason with.

It was by God’s grace that she had birthed two children and for Kai, they were the sun and moon. The days and nights spent alone caring for her family were illuminated by the lives of Damascus and Taliah. Yet they also slowly revealed the other side of Jeremy. And when she knew better, Kai resolved to do better. Even if it meant abandoning the god she worshipped all her life.

my 9 year old tween daughter

This is a random post about my baby girl who this summer became a tween.

My mild-mannered, easy going, super chill Selah Bear has become emotionally unstable. Never mind the fact that we spent the summer saying goodbye to our friends, awesome neighborhood, packing and moving to a new city in the suburbs of Chicago. Now my daughter says things like…

“I feel like you’re my sister, not my mom.”

“I like this boy at school.”

“I need alone time.”

Usually, when I’d raise my voice she’d stand there stone-faced, now her eyes well up with tears and I find myself apologizing instead! She runs away from confrontation, rolls her eyes and pretends she doesn’t hear me.

Where did my baby go? But for all the changes, we are closer now than ever. And yes, she is like a little sister. I speak frankly with her, swivel my neck and talk to her like one of my homegirls. I see her smile and her eyes sparkle when I’m my silly self, and she says things like…

“Mommy you’re so beautiful.”

“You look like a teenager, not my mom.”

“You should be a chef and open your own restaurant.”

This blesses my heart and makes me want to cry. But I hold it together and squeeze her tight, grateful for these tween years.