Troy

What’s the last movie that made you cry?

It always rocked Bunny to the core, the lengths he would take to hurt her.  She decided to look at things differently, maybe she wouldn’t have a manic episode each time he attacked. Greek colonizers only needed a reason to invade, made false treaties, turned brother against sister, and children against parents.  Similarly, exhausted her resources, college savings and precious moments, the only means of defense, guerrilla warfare. Foolish pride would only lead to destruction, so she chose to make peace and not war. 

If she would suffer, it would only be to finally end it. No more long diatribes and dissertations demeaning her efforts and humanity. The weeklong spammings and harassment post separation ate at her nerves, now diagnosed “mild generalized anxiety”.  Vertigo threatened after suffering years of an equilibrium so out of wack it seemed to have caused the “degenerating diin her back. Stomach always queasy, hardly eating but binging to quell imprinting breaking down. She thought of her sweet cousin overwhelmed with motherhood, neglect and postpartum that never ended. She needed to fight for peace, she was liberated but subject to the decisions of weak men and gullible women. Peace, He would never give it to her, that’s why it was over.  

Big Red

It wasn’t until his funeral that it was said aloud, actually written in the obituary, Uncle Red was Autistic. It’s funny how Black folk had a silent understanding that neurodivergence was seen, protected, yet not openly acknowledged. Perhaps Bunny became an educator with a heart for students who were equally as genius and divergent. Or maybe she was led to a graduate degree with English learner certifications because she sat at dinner tables listening to Arabic, on the porch in Glendale with Armenian and Tupac bumping in the background, on the coach of immigrants from Mexico who taught her some of her first preschool words in Spanish. It’s funny how fate weaves such a complex web throughout space and time. Bunny only wondered where this new adventure would bring her next. Why did she have to say goodbye in order to welcome in a new beginning?

night or morning

Are you more of a night or morning person?

These days it is both.

Making up time past spent

Taking up space in the rooms I’m in.

Planning and setting goals for prosperity

While I clench at my tightened chest

Filled with anxiety.

Late nights orchestrating and motivating my progeny,

Early mornings rising to beat the sun to earn a salary.

That meets my needs, and some wants,

Supplements for every expense,

From edge control, insoles and AP Exam fees,

Palpitations and flutters brings me back to loving on me.

Making sure I am the first one they see.

be the change you want to see

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

i teach for the kids not seen and for the truths untold

Because two things can be true – it’s called perception

When using them as a weapon it’s call perspective.

I choose to see through many eyes, love a love that can love colorblind

See where you at and affirm the facts

That-perception is reality

Just because I don’t see like you there is no sentence

The mhmm’s and yeahs an honorable mention.

I can be more than one thing at varying degrees

Because it’s all 360

Just let me dream

To be the change I wanna see

away

Pillows around my body to assure rest

Surely somewhere there is a heart beating

Through the wiring and pangs of death

Will I always feel you with me?

Did you have to break me?

So terribly and deeply,

Pull at the scab blending, into skin.

The winding and melting of our limbs.

Guess you were a mate of my soul.

Hoped that you’d be mine to hold,

And keep just a little while longer.

Maybe if I were a little stronger,

I could sip from your glass have full,

Be the one to push when you pulled.

complete

don’t need you

and i want you

craving that emperor energy

a soft life where we can just be

you be you

and let me be me

watch the blessings flow so abundantly

feeding off this infinite energy

cups overflowing into one another

creating a sea of authentic creativity

where we don garments that bring us pleasure

synchronized tones and hue so vibrantly

told every where we go to keep shining

black love so brilliantly blinding

opening heavy eyes to see the essence of humanity

the original Adam and Eve

before the fruit

poisoned with a promise of truth

thinking it was a fair trade

unbeknownst to them a snare was made

against all odds they say it was fate

and here we meet

complete

joshua 1:9

You’ll find grace here because I’ve been in your place

You’ll find that I’m fit to tie shoes unlaced

Can empathize with every predicament

Can sympathize in whatever state your in

I know I don’t look like I’ve been to hell and back

Cried oceans of tears, almost drowned in my sorrow

My brood the only reason for waking up on the morrow

Wishing each gasp of air was my last breath

Beat my chest at God wanting Him to end it.

And he did

But I didn’t go out like no bitch

So there are no excuses

So here is the short and quick of it.

Know yourself, to thine own self be true

Become the person you’ve always wanted to

Be, have, and needed as a child and teen

Kill your inner victim, you’re your greatest enemy

Make peace with God and self, it’s time to fly free

Ask our fathers on the ancestral plane

To lead and guide you to victory and out of pain.

You’re not a child, stop taking unnecessary risks.

You’re a man now, stop putting up with your own shit.

Be the parent your child would be proud to have

Be the partner and lover who secures the bag

It’s all so very simple but you’d rather make it hard

Only night reveals who you really are.

Shine bright king, you’re the captain of your ship,

on to other harbors, you’re well equipped.

Tap in and don’t take another sip or inhale

Until you’ve set the intention to prevail.

*Joshua 1:9 – Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

111

Shit just hit me like a ton of bricks

I’ve been healing so long that I’m feeling sick

And tired of being sick and tired

All those who’ve applied have been fired.

The turnover is out of control

For a lovergirl who’s out on parole

One one one

One for the money

One for the love of my life

One last dance to the beat and this rhyme

Of melancholy, betrayals and deception

Knowing my ancestors are my protection

Spirit guides don’t fail me now

I’m the captain of this ship

Universe let’s take a bow

Karmic debts been paid.

It’s time to cash out.

i want you to see me

i want you to see me

grounding and inspiring, my heart has not been the same 

since we last exchanged

laughs, words, dreams and thoughts

still longing for what i thought we were – ought

to be and meant to be

more than memory

i can feel your pull from so far away

never feeling your touch, i wish you had stayed.

yet you tried to fight for me while telling me to go

you had no time to communicate 

with someone whose words came too slow.

i felt so inadequate. 

lacking the the words and phrases 

to articulate all my moons waves and phases.

yet where you are is where you should be.

i fear that i could never be…

enough. 

although i want so much

am i digging in the dirt?

scavenging for scraps 

when i should tend to my own garden

sew my own patch

work-ing on me

with words i release this anxiety 

that feels it would ease 

if you could just see

me.

kids got problems too

Most of my problems in high school stemmed from my parents issues. This had the greatest impact on my lack, failures and success in high school. I wished my teachers knew this. How my parents fought over me and my own desire to stay at my high school instead of transferring to another school. The familiarity and trajectory that I was on would have ensured my success. One parent thought that I would have a better education at the new school. I was registered at two schools and that tug of war landed me in a school where I felt alone and experienced racism in a way I hadn’t before.

Describe something you learned in high school.

Titus Kaphar – The Cost of Removal

I would like to share with you the wonder and works of Titus Kaphar. Kaphar is a amazing artist and I have created a lesson activity to supplement U.S. History units about Indian Removal, Andrew Jackson, Jacksonian Era, and Trail of Tears. I teach these topics through the lens of American Settler Colonialism using Dr. Muhammad’s Culturally and Historically Responsive Literacy Framework. Please click here to access of Teachers Pay Teachers FREE download.

Goals

Kai drove into town mind running, fueled by one statement and question, “You guys were goals! What happened?” They really were. She loved that man like her life and salvation were dependent on it. As a devout Christian, and a child of divorce she would never separate her family, and she would never make her children face the pain and instability of a broken home. The home her and Jeremy created in their twenties slowly began to crumble but from the inside. The facade remained in tack but as if termites ate away at the scaffolds of her mental health and the splinter in her eye was perceived by Jeremy as a beam. Somehow the emotional abuse she’d faced behind the closed door of their bedroom crept down the hall morphing into a monster she could not reason with.

It was by God’s grace that she had birthed two children and for Kai, they were the sun and moon. The days and nights spent alone caring for her family were illuminated by the lives of Damascus and Taliah. Yet they also slowly revealed the other side of Jeremy. And when she knew better, Kai resolved to do better. Even if it meant abandoning the god she worshipped all her life.

Safe

Bunny opened her eyes. Safe. Her own voice spoke almost audibly in her mind without even thinking a thought. As she creaked out of bed that squeaky old bed, and shuffled for her flip flops, she told herself over and over that she was safe. Finally.

Sway

He was originally from New Oleanes, and not long after Katrina, Sway found his way to Carter G. Woodson High School her senior year by way of Houston. Sway was a 90s kind of fine, with Nelly’s swagger and a Houston drawl that would knock any girl’s panties straight off. They shared a love for music and Bunny felt akin to an anthropologist when he played 50 Cents Wankster screwed and chopped on a burned CD in her bedrooms boom box.

He tanned a reddish brown like her, but something about him gave Indigenous North American, maybe even Indian. Slim and a tad lanky, Sway always smelled so good and greeted her with his biggest grin. She’d asked him to prom after the guy Bunny had been talking to ghosted her. They would go as friends and would commit to at least taking pictures together. And took pictures they did, despite Bunny’s teammate high jacking the night with a promise and booked hotel room. Splitting her prom date senior year and suffering from instant diarrhea from drinking a daiquiri she’d been handed a the Prom entrance was born in her plan.