mr. unavailable

What was the last live performance you saw?

Saw some talented poets at poetry slam where I read my poem, mr. unavailable:

excellent service mr. unavailable

emotionally, spiritual and intellectual.

-ly lacking and siphoning

my energy,

with drops of love

so i decided to fill my cup.

and although I’m ever so grateful

this is the year of the faithful.

those who recognize and give their due.

treasure a treasure and not play the fool.

consolation lies in reciprocating,

yet a well run dry leaves one only waiting.

for that which will never come.

can’t call myself dumb.

i believed your every word,

and that which was left unspoken.

you healed the places that were broken,

filled the spaces gone unnoticed.

here there is no blame, only acknowledgement

father

To find you did the worst thing any man could do

Abandon a child

Live a lie with so much truth

I find myself so far from you

That I cannot draw near you

as I had before

Is it love, if you didn’t love them?

As much as you loved me

Or am I fool to believe that it’s true

Real

Faithful

Honorable

Never hide, never lie

This is our painful goodbye.

I didn’t like you

Somehow I’ve told you everything

I never thought I would,

Then have the audacity to say to me

All the things I “should”

I didn’t understand your positivity

Far too afraid to ask

Hoping one day you would give to me

A moment of your past

Is that what they gave to you

Something I couldn’t

When it all started out so terribly

How could you ever really like me?

Life full of drama running from impending trauma

Too foolish to find my way out

I don’t know why I did it

Can’t see you without him

That you are the last piece of who I was before all of this

Before I was sad and hopeful,

I had a plan

Now I’m bent and broken

On healings long worn path.

to those who caught strays

What fears have you overcome and how?

I was afraid he’d use you to get to me

And that’s just what he did

When I’m reminded of his penchant

It breaks me down inside

Makes me hide and fear for my safety

Because he said he’d take everything away from me

And I saved it

Screenshot

Of how low you would go to

Go through every page of my book

Break me down

So id have to build myself up

From within.