Tag: midwest

Grandmother’s Table

Chapter One

She pulled over at the front of her house. It was raining, that misty light rain showering the sidewalk. The back window was rolled down, so that Kobe, her four year old Labradoodle, could hold his head out the window.

She had to finish this text. She would send it, he would think she was crazy, say “Okay” or maybe put up some resistance. But ultimately he would leave. She’d tested him enough. If he couldn’t get past her whirlwind of thoughts, emotions and high expectations, how could he manage the father of her children?

Ahmad would have to believe her. He would have to trust her, if they were to ever have anything more. Taliah couldn’t help but push him away, so she tapped away…

I feel like I wanna end things with us. I am so triggered by small things. When I’m with you things are so awesome then after a few days I’m anxious. This could be for many reasons, but would primarily include the marriage I was in. That’s why I have gone back to therapy.

Nonetheless, I thought that aspect of feelings would go away this second time around with you. I felt I could handle this type of relationship with you. And really I can’t. So, I find myself in the same space as before.

You have been so patient and gracious with me. How I behaved at the party was very embarrassing. And at the same time reminded me of how I was treated for many years. I felt like I became the person who hurt me so badly.

Is this dramatic? Yes, but my feelings be so strong. Anyways, you’re living the single childless life and it’s like your friend said…I have baggage. It doesn’t feel like baggage to me since everyone has some, but I get it. I can’t do the limbo thing with you, even though that’s what people do nowadays. It’s stressful and as much as I want you, I don’t want to be stressed. Maybe I’m archaic and an anti-feminist but this is not for me. This literally makes me feel crazy.

Should she send it? Before he had cancelled their plans together, Taliah was already on edge. These guys were either crazy, ridiculous or boring. Dating felt like being greased up with Aquafor and pushed down a 100ft metal slide. Just today, she dropped two serial texters within the last four hours.

But she felt better now. Maybe she’d save the message and talk to him about her feelings later. Ahmad had a rough day and since he’d told her that he’d be out of touch the next few days, she saved it in her notes and texted,

Hope you have a better night.

She felt like a dumbass.

I want to teach!

In 2006 I graduated from California Baptist University with a bachelor in History. I got the degree, but it was not where I imagined I’d be when I graduated from high school. I attended Hampton University in Virginia my freshman and sophomore year of college. Initially, my major was Business, because that is what my mom wanted. After going to a business class once and looking at the required courses…I was like, NO. AND they wanted us to play chess? So I decided to become a teacher and entered their 5 year Education program where I would get my BA, MA and teaching credential. BET! My mom was not having it, but hey it’s my life. We couldn’t afford it but I’m thinking, this is a deal and I can do my HBCU thing. 3rd year, financial aid did not go through, and I was STUCK in Virginia not knowing what to do. So with the little cash I had to make the initial payment, I caught a plane to Georgia to stay with my Nana until I figured things out.

Fast forward 10 years after college and I’m a married stay at home mom living in the Midwest, homeschooling my 7-year-old daughter while my son’s at the neighborhood school in Kindergarten.

After one Midwest winter homeschooling, I’m like dude, totally not made for this.

I had a crisis and decided both kids are going to PUBLIC SCHOOL. Private school is ridiculously expensive, and I’m not giving them my money (I mean OUR money) to teach them the 3 R’s. So what am I going to do at home with kids in school? I cannot be posted in the crib looking around at my immaculately clean house. I don’t want a desk job doing admin. I don’t want to teach fitness part time. So I decided to do what I never thought I would want to do. Go back to school.

So I’m now almost halfway through this program; Masters in Secondary Education and Teaching Credential. I want to teach high school history. I know you’re like, history is boring. But I love it, and I know I can make it fun. I want to teach jaded teens history.

Am I crazy? Maybe. But I know I’m made for this and much much more.