Just realized that I’m not crazy
That everything I want
I totally deserve
Conflict happens when I’m given shit
And I turn around like, “I don’t want this.”
They keep giving me their worst
Knowing I am and give my very best
The swimming pool has piss
Find someone else to wade in this
I can’t wait for this
Or that shit.
I resist
Resistance.
Be like water my friend
On this love island.
there’s something brewing inside of me
No matter how hard I try
The flame just won’t die
The feeling of betrayal and abandonment
This thorn in my side feels like a broken rib
But wont stop until I finish
So make my enemies my footstool
Take them all off my list
Not the one to be played with.
Instead of raging I’m biding my time
For the day it will finally be goodbye
and Ill never ever run away.
What is your favorite season of year? Why?
Now that it’s summer
I’m looking for you
Thought I found you on social media
Way back when
Thought I found you in church
Singing sweet and low the souls gospel hymn
Thought I found you in hip hop
A dope rhyme, boom bap, Ellington on keys.
Thought I find you in a club, gym or speakeasy
A meet cute so serendipitous it’d hurt your tooth
And now that it’s summer
Hoping you find me.
I’ve worn my pain like armor,
Now there is no need.
Especially when I see
that my anxiety
is a
Burden.
I’ve expressed myself authentically
While intentionally hiding my pain.
I’ve gone to the depths of me and realized
I’m not so scary.
I will not implode,
Explode
Evaporate
Or discenigrate
I imagined I am stronger than I think.
And my thoughts take flight
Have you laughing with Aladdin
On a magic carpet ride.
So I will protect you
from my shadow
By standing in my power and healing
That “I’m a bad mutha…
“shut yo mouth.”
From the womb of Jim Crow parents
And sharecroppers of Mississippi
Granddaughter to a grandmother who
remembers that her grandmother was “an African”
How could I ever rob you from infinite joy
And rest that is your birthright?
When your home is justice
and patience gives way to the revolutions fight.
I will not be a “Baby Mama”
With all this drama.
I will be a “Bad Motha…
“Shut yo mouth”
What sacrifices have you made in life?
I don’t have to sacrifice myself
to love someone else.
Especially when they wouldn’t do the same for…
Me.
So now I look out for…
Me.
With the hopes that it’s what’s best for them,
Because I caught the vibe that they took me for someone else.
That person they betrayed
twisted lies with memorized verses
A victim of their own circumstances,
The sum of all the bullshit they put together,
I realize more than ever
To do what’s best for…
Me.
With hopes that they
Would never be left in the rain,
like…
Me.
teachquelle 