Category: poetry

i ❤️ suffering

I release the need for suffering

Stopping time to dwell in the past,

letting guilt and shame sweep over me

Where are my flaws?

I see them all

crouching angrily at the door of violation,

weak boundaries, fear and self depreciation

All the good done with a knife behind their back,

lured by another sad song they slowly attacked.

Bit by bit til there’s little left

and I finish the job riddled with regret,

For all that could have been avoided

had I listened to me, the truth – divinity.

Warning me not to satisfy my insatiable curiosity

the beauty of our species and their depravity.

I’d wonder how they’d break my heart in the light of my love.

I’d ponder the ending, manifesting a betrayal as epic as Judas.

Then grieve, shout and sob whilst clenching my chest.

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Shit just hit me like a ton of bricks

I’ve been healing so long that I’m feeling sick

And tired of being sick and tired

All those who’ve applied have been fired.

The turnover is out of control

For a lovergirl who’s out on parole

One one one

One for the money

One for the love of my life

One last dance to the beat and this rhyme

Of melancholy, betrayals and deception

Knowing my ancestors are my protection

Spirit guides don’t fail me now

I’m the captain of this ship

Universe let’s take a bow

Karmic debts been paid.

It’s time to cash out.

not so arbitrarily

this ache in my chest

and water in my eyes

never thought i was good at goodbyes.

could i be less direct?

lay it down with more finesse?

i imagine your love story without me

a supporting role as an obstacle

to the one who got away,

or the one who never came.

because when i did

they were still first on your list.

i image you reuniting with this long lost love

and remembering me as the one who pushed,

or shoved

you over that fence

you so easily straddled

while i giggled and gaggeled,

gushed over you and the door you opened

to a whole new world i was too afraid to discover,

on my own

and alone,

there could be no better guide,

so i’ll exit stage left

love has its own compass

i hope it’s you love finds…

not so arbitrarily.

speak to me

Something about the way

the sway of your voice lulls my wounds to sleep

Something in the things you say

Makes my broken heart released

The sigh of relief held in

Not knowing whether id sink or swim

atop ripping curls

So instead, I rest and allow myself to float

And hold onto your every note

The pentameter of wisdom

Smoothing loose paths

Telling my heart to hold fast

To hope, to love, and to be loved again

To find in you, a homie, lover and friend

So speak to me and let your actions be heard

And let my heart repeat, til I believe those words

goodnight moon 🌙

on a day like today I long for you

to hold me in your arms

Moon looks down from afar

Nights sky pulls over me

blanketing pain and assuaging fears

while whispering dreams you wipe my tears

In the crook of your neck

Nuzzling and cuddling

Soothing the creases and crumbling

Tumbling under you

Rolling onto you

riding the rippling waves of this tide

upon a skiff my cares float by

wind tossed and waters flow

with gasping sighs and deep moans

taking me up, up, up

all around you

tightening, breathing the current ensues

pulling you deep, deep, deep

into my sea, soaking and wet

goodnight moon

may I drift into this rest