Tag: rant

flip it

my read is so fire if you flipped it

you’d think im cursing

matter fact if you don’t script it

you’ll see its cursive

God is my father

watch out you’ll be burning

God is my mother

she’ll take you out of this world and

you acting like it’s astrophysics

im an alchemist,

i mix this pain like a chemist.

god sent you a real one

turned you to a lesson

arms too short to box with God

next time ill move and not feel this harm

now i have to learn and you get this karma

got my script so I dip,

now you heading to phrama – see

now you get what’s coming to you.

warned you before, can’t stop what they do.

mr. unavailable

excellent service mr. unavailable

emotionally, spiritual and intellectual.

-ly lacking and siphoning

my energy,

with drops of love

so i decided to fill my cup.

and although I’m ever so grateful

this is the year of the faithful.

those who recognize and give their due.

treasure a treasure and not play the fool.

consolation lies in reciprocating,

yet a well run dry leaves one only waiting.

for that which will never come.

can’t call myself dumb.

i believed your every word,

and that which was left unspoken.

you healed the places that were broken,

filled the spaces gone unnoticed.

here there is no blame, only acknowledgement

theres no direction so i can’t follow it.

or you – down this path to nowhere.

it was nice while it lasted

so follow your passions

signed -ms. unavailable.

existential ramblings

I am so tired and angry

Why won’t life just let me be

Leave me alone to sink

Instead of offering solace

In making my self better

All the things to be done

Just to function

Releasing oneself from this matrix

Should be treated as an act of bravery

To find the end of self to only see nothingness

It takes bravery to risk the pain of those who love you to escape this fate

What if I was weak and easy to break

Would anyone of you given me a break?

Or would you surrounded me like prey

It takes courage to face the fact

that in each of our realities we are the victim

So we all are antagonist in each others stories

We compile many virtues to tell a tale of glory

Or one of pity and betrayal

Is this existence solely to do one harm?

I know im not innocent.

Because I am just, right and pure

The more you fuck around and find out

that I’m not so sure.

Who sent me flowers or brought me a meal?

Who showed up at my door with a care package?

Who has done any of the things I would do for them?

Then I realize that I’m so imperfect.

I can’t always be there for everybody,

No matter how hard I try someone is gonna say you could have done better?

Maybe so, but maybe no.

Because I can’t and I’ve tried.

easier to run away or die.

Maybe just disappear without a trace.

Isn’t that what death is? Either way you flip it.

How could they leave me and not give me what I need?

Who is so much better than me?

Am I not enough for them to do better?

What about us? Isn’t that enough and even more?

The greatest miracle would be a divine counterpart.

Or a human who loves themselves so much that everything is always enough.

I’ll just go back to sleep and plug back in

Wake up and do it all over again.

i’m the bad guy

I don’t have to be the one

but never make me the two.

I’m not the jealous type

but I don’t play the fool.

I understand a good girl gone bad

so much about it resonates.

This suppressed rage can drive one mad

rather keep it in and regulate.

Yet the moment they let loose

lips full of lies reveal the truth.

Watch how quickly I change

use my words to rearrange

Your whole soul

Because you thought I didn’t know

Behind the smile and understanding eyes

Is a mind that reads between the lines

Had to finally decide

that this good girl is gone forever.

And you all were the catalyst.

So much so that in my heart of hearts

I can’t be mad at this.

You.

Me.

Or even them.

Because I let you think that you were him

So really…I am the bad guy.

Truly a magician.

Watch how quickly I change

and you’ll be wishing you were him.

i ❤️ suffering

I release the need for suffering

Stopping time to dwell in the past,

letting guilt and shame sweep over me

Where are my flaws?

I see them all

crouching angrily at the door of violation,

weak boundaries, fear and self depreciation

All the good done with a knife behind their back,

lured by another sad song they slowly attacked.

Bit by bit til there’s little left

and I finish the job riddled with regret,

For all that could have been avoided

had I listened to me, the truth – divinity.

Warning me not to satisfy my insatiable curiosity

the beauty of our species and their depravity.

I’d wonder how they’d break my heart in the light of my love.

I’d ponder the ending, manifesting a betrayal as epic as Judas.

Then grieve, shout and sob whilst clenching my chest.