beauty and the beast

ive had a long cool down.
lonely but not alone with you around.
out of the habit of loving you
like ive always wanted to.
not sure when i gave up, just kept you in a box
never to be opened up, i kept you on lock.
sometimes peeking with hope in my heart,
only to be bitten by your intemperate maw.
you were insecure, anxious, afraid and unpredictable,
i was passive, accommodating, patient and faithful.
everything that i am crushed under this weight,
buried down deep in the waste of your wake.
you were a beast, could i be the beauty?
surely i am flawed, building walls for security.
but its not your fault entirely, we’ve identified the imbalance.
prognosis and remedy giving you this last chance.

 

 

 

 

Philly Dreams

philly skyline

I’ve been asked, “If you could live anywhere, where would it be?”

Hands down, every time, it’s Philly.  I fell in love with this city in 2002, when one of my college girlfriends invited me to stay with her for Thanksgiving break.  A Cali girl, all sunshine and smiles, left her heart in the City of Brotherly Love during that trip.  And let me tell you, it wasn’t a gentrified trip with tours and lattes.  I was in the hood okay? North Philly, corner stores, hoagies and a lot of interesting characters.  My friend took me to her old high school where, for the first time ever, I saw metal detectors in a school.  Like really? Where am I?  But it was great, looking back I am so glad I have these memories.

But in 2004, my love for Philly got really real. I’d become a Christian the year before, and “discovered” CHH (Christian Hip Hop).  Guess where my fave artist at the time was from?  Philly of course! Ambassador and Cross Movement introduced me to lyrical theology and I fell deeper.  I remember the day exactly, Universal City Walk, at one of those CD stores (lol) and I picked up, “The Thesis”. CHANGED MY LIFE.

ambassador

At some point I decided that I wanted to go to bible college for my Masters, and with the support of a good friend, we went on tours and talked to her pastor who graduated from the university I was considering.  Obviously that didn’t happen BUT, the greatest contribution Philly gave me is my husband, Rob.  But that’s a story for another time.

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Hey Philly, I just want you to know…I love you.