Betrayal teaches discernment.
Category: poetry
college
the stars that enter my orbit sometimes blind me
How could the little light of mine shine so brightly
That little old me, could navigate my way to higher education
On a wind and a prayer I always found my destinations
To be exceptional at best, excellent to say the least
Be accepted to a top 10 HBCU
The child of veterans who could find no other way
arrived
What are your top ten favorite movies?
My therapist says I’ve arrived.
Think I’ll take that seriously.
It’s sad when I make tears well up in her eyes,
When I spill all that’s inside;
Right in front on that couch.
Started to twitch and fidget when I talked about her.
Felt those same physical symptoms when I spoke about him.
She says it’s interesting that you both bring out the dark in me.
But it’s just a shadow,
Spent a long time with me.
Remembering that I am light
despite all that’s happened to me.
Played with my inner child,
Filled coloring pages
Read so meany spreads
Shuffled on the floor, in my car, for those who are special who were once a part
Of my healing.
So now that I’m healed,
She says to visualize,
The life that I actually like,
Well, I happen to be living today.
So right now my top ten favorite movies are:
- Gladiator
- Legends of the Fall
- The Color Purple
- I’m gonna get you sucka
- Waterboy
- Lord of the Rings Trilogy
- Star Wars Episode 1-3
- 101 Dalmatians
- The Lion King
- Friday
iykyk
On what subject(s) are you an authority?
The amount of fear and anxiety I’ve felt being a single mother has deeply impacted my mental health. Enduring cycles of abuse at this level of independence and isolation has put me on a path of hyper vigilance that is barely paved yet often frequented. Yet this path is so fertile, that weeds and grass hurry to fill the cracks. Imaging this experience at a lower socioeconomic level mirrors my childhood. All the limitations and sacrifices made for the sake of a “better life” makes me an authority.
Stargazing
Finally found the time to look up.
Back against the wall had me stuck.
Fear and pride had me blind
To escape by way of self love.
The anger in my heart melted by fires of truth
Knowing that leaving it all behind
Walking by faith not sight.
Made true friends along the way
A specter to old allies and confidants turned foes
Now I can see the buds on trees
No longer saplings from seeds
Planted years ago
In the here and now I’m looking up
Knowing that everything I see
Is all now so heavenly.
