everybody has love but I have nothing
i am weak, drained of every ounce of love.
my life’s blood the greatest thing I offer
pours out of me, overflowing every coffer.
yet when I grasp for a love of my own,
slip.
from my grip.
i am now numb.
a plant hardly watered,
is a plant undone.
ive had a long cool down.
lonely but not alone with you around.
out of the habit of loving you
like ive always wanted to.
not sure when i gave up, just kept you in a box
never to be opened up, i kept you on lock.
sometimes peeking with hope in my heart,
only to be bitten by your intemperate maw.
you were insecure, anxious, afraid and unpredictable,
i was passive, accommodating, patient and faithful.
everything that i am crushed under this weight,
buried down deep in the waste of your wake.
you were a beast, could i be the beauty?
surely i am flawed, building walls for security.
but its not your fault entirely, we’ve identified the imbalance.
prognosis and remedy giving you this last chance.
we were a beautiful anomaly,
who can understand it?
imperfect keys in harmony,
how could He have planned this?
he gives and takes away.
well, how about the pain?
yet i have not grown to disdain
the sovereign in your reign
but if this be inspiration
that propels my sanctification
then without resignation
to your providence
i prostrate my inclination
09.11.13
bloom where you’re planted.
that’s what he said.
how can a transplant bloom
without a flowerbed?
pick me up and put me down.
see-saw. merry-go-round.
this aint even where i wanna be
who am i? slow down, let me see.
let me breathe.
i need water. i need sun.
pack my things, im on the run.
cant go far, make it quick.
must find peace on this trip.
then im back on the grind,
on this ride that is my life.
lover, fighter and confident.
where are you when i need and want?
when im everywhere but here.
i give. you take. expecting all.
how could loving make me small?
im everywhere but here.
not you, me. delusional and naive
who am i to want and need?
who am i to get what i give?
i too need love to live.
i need someone to probe and pry,
need a shoulder to lean and cry.
but im everywhere but here.
spread so thin
cant tell out from in
everywhere but here.
teachquelle 